Once Upon A Sleepy City...

London At My Fingers

2011-03-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

There's something pure and enchanting about knowing the long traveled route you're on is pointed toward home. It's almost a comforting hug which envelopes you, making you feel serene and untouchable. No matter what has happened in the past, what is happening in the present, or what will happen in the future, you get to go to a place you know with a fresh mind. A fresh mind, but an old comfortable feeling. What could be better?

This last week I was in Europe. Germany and Austria, then London. It changed the way I think of myself, the way I eat, and the outlook I have on other people. Truly wonderful. To all you who are from anywhere even around these areas, you live in a beautiful world.

It was weird to go from majestic mountains to linking subways. But it was also quite wonderful. I loved walking everywhere and taking trains to get to a far away destination. With my Oyster card, London was at my finger tips.

I've always longed to travel and this was my first experience out of the country (unless you count Canada. Love you, Canadians) so it was a big deal. You Europeans have odd elevators, odd light switches, and I don't like the fact you have to pay to use the restroom. But you also have the most amazing food and move at an amazingly different paces than Americans do. You usually don't rush, and dinner is a social gathering. Amazing.

Compare that to our get up and go attitudes toward life. No wonder my favorite poets and authors are European. They actually have time to think.

And now that I'm home, I'll try to do the same.

June-uary.

2011-01-31T10:35:00.000-08:00

Excitement is brewing like a fresh pot of coffee... On steroids...

This month was a giant mix of feelings. And being a girl, my emotions drive allot of what I do and act. I try to resist them becoming the road map by which I fallow, but a lot of times that falls through. But!

Things are finally starting to look up! What fun.

I figure the best way to educate you (without over whelming) in what has been going on in my life is to answer the forever-there questions- Who? What? When? Where? and Why?

Who- This month it's been mostly God and I conversing for the most part. And it's been very wonderful. What better best friend than God? Yes, I've been seeing friends, but this month has been a month of solitude for me. Deep thinking, you could say.

What- Music. Lots and lots of music. Abundant amounts of music. Music fills my brain and reaches to the far corners where I hide memories, dragging them out. Put that way, it might not seem all too pleasant. But, trust me, it is. This month I really tried to concentrate on finishing songs and preparing them for recording. I made a list, marked off which ones were done, and finished the ones which weren't. Now I'm in the midst of choosing songs for an EP or, quite possibly, an Album. Exciting (and nerve racking) stuff, and I never go a day without thinking about what it will look like once finished. My life wont change all that much, but it might at least start the process. And to just finish off my music paragraph, I'm in the midst of building a recording studio/music room in my basement. Oh what fun.

AND, also writing. Writing is my "escape" from music. Or, my escape from my escape from life. Everybody need an escape from their escape, right? But oh, if only blogging was considered my literature and music theory considered my math. Then the world will be turning in the right direction.

When- I really can't answer this nor understand what it applies to in my life right now, so I'll just skip it.

Where- This month I got some very exciting news. Some news which will make some jealous and some spiteful. I will not give specifics as of now, but I am going somewhere very exciting. It's about a 2 hour drive, 3 hour wait, and 9 hour flight away. My heart is fluttering just thinking about this trip.

Why- Why am I telling you all this? Why, because your my willing eyes! And I feel like I needed to repay you all with a glimpse into my January. Which, due to the weather being 70 yesterday, I'm not calling June-uary.

And there goes my brother playing drums and messing up my train of thought. Joy.

Before I leave off I must applaud you all for braving this far into the Blog. I know, I'm not the most interesting person, but I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't writing words, and in turn, knowing that their are people like you to read them. So, thank you.

And if you are a fan of my Facebook page for my music, than thank you all the more! It's so much appreciated, you have no idea. And for those of you who would like to get in on this appreciation, go to this link and hit the "Like" button and be as cool as all those other people. I'll be putting some more stuff up very soon. Pinky-promise.

Sorry if I bored you all to death, I just felt like I needed to write. Yes, needed.

Until next time, all you lovely people.

Nothing Is Impossible! Except, You Know, That.

2011-01-13T15:26:00.000-08:00

First, I'll start off by giving myself a pat on the back for posting TWO Blogs within 4 days. To that I say, go me.

Second, as allot of you may already know, I posted my first cover last night. For this being my first time actually finishing a cover I think it was pretty ok. Go to this link and you can not only listen to it, but download it. What is this madness? Listen, Tweet, Status, reblog, and simply share it. It's much appreciated.

Lately my idealist state of mind has been getting me into trouble. Not literal trouble, no grounding or shaming was had, but trouble with myself. I don't quite know exactly why it's decided to show itself so much so suddenly, but it has.

For those of you who are not such, there for, don't fully get the concept of an idealist, here-

-Idealist-
–noun

a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles,purposes, goals, etc.

a visionary or impractical person.

a person who represents things as they might or should berather than as they are.

a writer or artist who treats subjects imaginatively.

a person who accepts the doctrines of idealism.

There ya go.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about this. I'm merely saying that it's a gift and a curse. Like every temperament, it has it's pros and cons. Realists don't spend enough time imagining and can be rather depressing to talk to, idealists spend too much time imagining and making up impossible situations and can be annoying to talk to.

Great stories come from thinking hours on end about what COULD happen if THAT happens or what MIGHT happen if THIS happens. I feel light hearted quite often and try to see the beauty in everything. Because if theirs beauty, theres possibility. And even when there is no hope left, I always have a smidgen hidden in my pocket to take out and look at when I'm lying in bed at night. I can truly say that I'm happy most the time because of this. I don't know if that will change as I grow older. Maybe instead of seeing light at the end of the tunnel I'll see just endless black. But I hope that doesn't happen. But sooner or later I have to step back and say, "That will NEVER happen." Which is very hard for me. Once I get my heart set on something it's there to stay. So theres allot of poking and prodding after admitting that to myself. I have to analyze myself and reanalyze myself. Each time taking a bit more of my heart and feelings away until all I have left is reality. Which is a sad day, because I've never quite liked reality. Ever since I was a wee tike I was the one who was always in their own little world. Never venturing outside of it until dinner was called. But after all I have left is reality I usually have to shift my inspiration as well. So basically, I rebuild part of my life from the ground up. The only thing remaining is God. The Foundation. Because He never changes. And I'm slowly learning that it's pointless to lean all your weight on a wall unless God's holding onto you. Because then, it's not such a big deal when your goals collapse. You're main one is still there and will forever be.

With all that said, I leave you with this-

-Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”-

Snowflakes Are Falling On My Head

2011-01-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

This is the story about the beauty of snow. But first, a lesson from a Minnesotan to all you southerners.

To all you southerners who are not use to snow, there is only one way to make sure you last longer than 5 minutes outside in the snow before your legs start to fall off. And that is layers.

This morning when I drug myself out of bed to get dressed I had to run through the process of winter weather wear in my head to remind myself it's better safe than sorry. So I figured I'd give you a lesson as well.

First, if your a girl, leggings and/or Long Jons are a must. They fit nice and snug under your skin tight skinny jeans and keep you a good 10 degrees warmer. Second, double long sleeves. No, this is not over kill. Unless you so wish to throw yourself in the snow for a snow angel and end up with frozen limbs and a trip to the fireplace instead. Next comes my favorite- Double socks. Yes, double socks. It's amazing how cold your toes are capable of getting. And make sure you wear BOOTS. Not converse, not TOMS, not Vans, BOOTS. Got it? Then comes the usual. A heavy jacket or coat and gloves. I personally skipped out on the hat and went for fuzzy earmuffs instead. But if you wish to wear a hat, go for it.

Undoudtedly once you've been outside for 10 minutes you'll realize you are still cold and your legs are still numb. I'm sorry, but no amount of clothing can help this. It's an inevitable thing of life that can only be made better, not taken away.

You may also realize something else. Your nose is FREEEEEEEZZZZIINNGGGGG. This is another one of life's laughing matters. Because there is now possible way to keep your nose warm without looking like the little boy from A Christmas Story and your neighbor not being able to hear anything but, "Hhhhur Mhr Ghhra hu Wuuhg." When you say "Top of the morning to you." And we wouldn't want that, would we? But I promise that no matter how stingy, chilly, or drippy your nose may get that it will not fall off. My nose has braved many a winter and it is still with me till this day.

After getting clad in my chain mail against the enemy, so to say, I immediately grabbed my iPod and stumbled out the front door and started trudging through the snow. It was dry, icy business. A layer of ice had formed on top of the powdery snow and made trudging loud. Awkward stares were had by the few people out. But I didn't mind. Port Blue was pouring through my headphones and everything was beautiful. Not a trace of homesickness was felt in my heart and I knew this was going to be a wonderful walk.

I started off just walking up my road. My goal was to get lost in my own neighbor hood, but that is easier said than done and regrettably did not end up happening. Every step I wished for a neighborhood friend to play with and shove snow down each others coats like in Minnesota. It was just slightly heart wrenching to see the neighborhood children running around and pushing each other in snow heaps. As you get older, you start spending more and more time alone and I'm still getting use to that fact. But the nip of the midwest was a familiar on my rosie cheeks and I decided to spend the remainder of my walk consulting my Best Friend. Along my journey I decided to see how snowball capable the snow was. So I picked up a clump and quickly realized that the melting technique was needed. And from then on I continued to randomly smash the thin ice on peoples trashcans and grab handfuls of snow, rubbing it in to semi-melt it into a perfect ball shape.

As I passed the neighborhood playground I seriously considered being the immature teenager who climbs on the roof to form snow angels and write cheesy poems in the snow. Or twirl around from pole to pole screaming "Whoooooo!" with my tongue sticking out to catch the falling freezing rain. Or, ya know, swing on the swing set... But just as I was standing in front of the gate I decided to withdraw my presents. I don't know why. Perhaps I just felt out of place. But non the less, I walked on. The more I walked, the colder and wetter I got. The colder I got, the more alive I felt. The more alive I felt, the more I noticed the beauty in every bit of God's creation. The more I noticed, the more words came flooding to my head. The more words came, the more I felt like myself. And the more I felt like myself, the more I was happy. Not just happy, content and willing. There's just something so beautiful about the cold and snow. It makes everything it touches beautiful. Like a gentle kiss from heaven. I noticed the once flowered trees that hang over the sidewalk's bare branches, the heaviness of my UGGs as the slush and snow collected on the bottoms causing my steps to weigh 2 extra pounds. Everything was illuminated.

By this time my snow ball was the size of my hand. Every stop sign I passed I contemplated throwing it at. Except anyone who knows me knows I have a terrible arm and would likely sooner hit the person shoveling their driveway 10 feet away than the big, red stop sign 5 feet in front of me. I could just see myself trying to explain this to a red faced middle aged man with a medal shovel gripped in both hands. So I decided against that as well. All the same, every family I passed seemed to keep a watchful eye on the suspicious looking teenager with a giant snowball made out of half ice. I don't blame them.

When I finally decided to turn back(after wondering through half my large neighborhood) it seemed like everyone had decided to come out to the world of the living at once. Dads were driving 4x4s while their daughters hung off the back with a smile that could melt the heart of the Winter Warlock, people were playing catch, two year olds were building their first snowman, and you couldn't go 10 feet without someone flashing you a smile and saying, "Lovely day!". To this I would of course reply, "Oh yes! Cold, but perfect." while pretending I could actually hear them perfectly through my music. It's amazing what a difference in weather does to people.

Once I entered my street the change of pace was staggering. Our hill down to the Col-de-sac had been turned into a ski slope with even the parents enjoying themselves. I watched at a distance for a while before deciding to go inside and have lunch.

I don't know why I felt the need to dump all of this on you guys. I guess to make up for my depression over Tumblr. I could say so much more about how my indoor experience today has been. Like how at the moment my dad and mother are baking cookies and blasting German, trying to decode it... But I wont. I've already been typing for 2+ hours. I shall not bore you any longer.

Stay safe.

The Between Time

2010-12-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

Only two days ago was one of the most anticipated days out of 365 in a year.

Christmas.

Even the sheer word of it greats in most a feeling of extreme joy, happiness, and contentment. It's the day that kids and teens alike store up in there memory and count down the days till. I will admit I was one of those kids which in the middle of the summer would see something I wanted and go, "Oooooo. I'll ask for that for Christmas." And as I've gotten older, the excitement of the Christmas season hasn't changed much. The lights, the sound, (and yes,) the snow... It's hard to believe that it's already over. There was waiting, feasting, chatting, unwrapping, curclacking, shurlacking, mushtaking... You get the gist. But, within 48 hours the excitement was over. How depressing.

But as everyone finds out, when one thing ends, another takes its place. And right after Christmas comes New Years. And a little after New Years comes Valentines day. But in-between Christmas and New Years Eve is a span of 7 days in which nothing happens. It's just utter.... Boredom, free time, loneliness... Pick a word. But the bottom line is that you have nothing but time to do whatever you so choose to do. Over the years I have named this and it's sort of become a Holiday of it's own in my heart. Everyone, please become acquainted with- The Between Time.

Let's just go ahead and admit to ourselves that when we have an abundance of time on our hands and nothing to do with it (unless you're a guy...), we think allot. Too much. There's no school, very few friends, and too much time to think. That's The Between Time. It's when you consider things you'd never consider and think about changing certain areas of your life. It's when you let your dreams break through your ordinary life.

So here is me saying, happy Between Time! May your mind wonder (but not too much) and your dreams break through.

I know my Blogs are very spaced out. And I'm sorry. I just have no time in my life for extra stuff. I already live 4 separate lives. My dance life, music life, book/writing life, and school life. It's a taught world. So I'll also leave you with happy new year! Don't forget to celebrate with friends, drink some Sparkling Apple Cider, and kiss your hubby when the clock strikes twelve.

Love you all.

Once Upon This Sleepy Town...

2010-12-10T18:28:00.000-08:00

So, what happened is that I wrote this in the car on the way to the beach on WORD and I TOTALLY forgot about it. We drove through a town in Alabama and the vibe it gave off (and the way I felt) immediately got my attention. So here ya go.

I am writing to you all from approximately the left side of the middle seats in my van. The view is pleasant as we drive through the sleepy town of Eufala, Al. A town lost in time, you might say, seeming to await for the right time to awake… But that time never comes. Perhaps I should start at the begging of our journey, so you can better get why I’m here and where I’m headed.

It started out as any other ordinary day, awoken to my moms voice, drug myself out of my raffled bed with the same swimmy headedness I have every morning. Except it wasn’t like every morning. I slowly changed my clothes to cut off shorts, my surfing shirt, a favorite boy-friend vest, and a bright orange bandana tied as a flip-sided headband over my head. In a “mammy” style of sorts.

I gracefully tumbled down the stairs in my usual fashion, and greeted my mother, grand parents, and sister. I must admit, it was too early for my loner self to surrender myself to family. But it didn’t matter, my mind was crisp as a piece of paper and I was ready to tackle this next adventure in front of me. Walking out to the garage I spotted my dad working his magic with the van. Skillfully placing every piece of our luggage in a distinct place, like a puzzle he had done many time before and succeeded. Which, we all knew, was the truth of it all, as my family can easily fill two cars with just our suite cases. Handing him Alice I noticed that my brother-in-law and sister number two had arrived with two other family members- their two little Yorkies, Haley and Oliver. The whole family was now together for one sole event, the beach. A little beach house we had rented for 5 days of bliss. In the words of sister number one, “’Vacation’ is a foreign word to the Doss family.” So true.

Approximately 30 minutes later my mother, grand parents, dogs (Precious, Maggie, Haley, and Oliver), sisters, and brother-in-law all piled into the two suppurate cars bound for the beach and waved goodbye to my daddy and brother (of which were suppose to meet us at the beach at approximately 5:00 in the morning.)

Then we were off! I was then stuck in the car for an 8-hour drive. Superb. We grabbed Starbucks alone the way (because nobody was very thrilled to be in the car this early), and got on the highway. I immediately threw my head phones on (after pulling on a pair of pure white knee socks, as is customary for my car travels.), turned up the already-loud volume, and let the blissful, serene sound of Owl City, Cady Groves, Chase Coy, and Sky Sailing run through my body and influence my dreamy thoughts as I looked out the window. During this I notice the clouds. They had a wispy, wistful curve to their thin figure. Pure white against the clear blue sky. And then I was lost in though and did not submerge until lunch.

After a few hours of reading my new book, listening to music, and trying to keep my dog of my shoulders, we ended up in this small town. A pure southern town, it is. I currently put down my book, picked up my computer, and allowed Cady Groves folky voice to run through my headphones. (If ever there was a soundtrack for this town, it is definitely Cady Groves’ first EP, “A Month Of Sundays”.) The town seems a bit tired and sad compared to the city life I’ve always loved, but at the same time completely perfect in the bring sun and warm breeze. A simple picture of serene ambience.

For This I Am Thankful...

2010-11-22T19:40:00.000-08:00

*Sighhhh.* Dare I be one of the cliche bloggers to post a Blog about being thankful? Due to Thanks Giving just around the corner. Or more... Staring into our faces. Because... It's only days away. Ehem.

So here are the traditions of the Doss family for Thanksgiving.

I wake up late and eat a lukewarm breakfast. Usually consisting of sausage. Then sit around like a vegetable watching the parade and being taunted my the smell of food. But these exciting events aren't what make Thanksgiving awesome for me. It's two things really. 1. The family actually all sitting at one table for a meal. And 2. The dishes my mom makes.

I could go very deep into the reason number one, but I will restrain myself.

As for number two... Every year since I could remember my mom has made certain dishes for Thanksgiving. A few of these are Smackin' Cheese (Haha), Anti-Giblet Gravy, Sweet Potato Casserole, and so much more.

I'll post again soon, but this was just a taste of some more blogs to come. I just wanted to post a little something as a "Sorry for not being around" message.

Thanks. :)

I Know A Girl...

2010-09-06T16:51:00.000-07:00

I know a girl who has a different view on life. A wishful thinker I sometimes call her. Even though I claim to know her, the truth is that I'm the one who knows her best, and I still don't understand her. At least not fully. She changes so often, yet completely stays the same. Like the oceans tide (no matter how corny that might seem), wanting nothing to do wish reality and everything to do with somewhere most people don't see past the age of 10. A different world set in the same earth, yet a completely different perspective. This is the person I know. And, just maybe, I know only this, and that is not even the start to her person.

She seems to love people and friends, yet lives for those few moments of seclusion. Where the world seems to fade and slowly drift away... Leaving nothing but those thoughts and feelings which it so chooses to let her feel and think. Nobody to disturb her... No appointments which need to be met... Just simple.... Serene... Silence.

A pen and page are her escape of choice. If not that, then a guitar and pick. Getting lost in that one world which is yours can't compare to anything else. It's not that you make the rules, or don't have to fallow them. It's that their aren't any. If a pirate wants to find her own way, so be it. If a girl wants to fly, let it be so.

But one of the main things I KNOW about her is this- She thrives on loneliness. Separation is her happy place and beyond this world is her reality. Nothing will ever change that. Nobody knows why. She just seems to like the emptiness that void feels. Or maybe it isn't that the void is empty, but that it's full. Maybe loneliness turns on a bright light inside her where thoughts aren't limited and life isn't the same. Perhaps it changes things. Maybe she thrives on that single idea of being 23 and single. No man in her life, living alone and traveling whenever her heart yearns for it. Maybe her mind is the one place she can go where God, music, writing, and all else she cares for live as a whole. Where nobody can change that and influence action. Maybe loneliness IS her escape.

In Which the Procrastinator Finds Inspiration

2010-08-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been having dreams.

No, not that kind.... Well yes that kind but that's not what I'm talking about.

I've been having the kind of dreams that you fall asleep, see a story projected across your eyelids, and suddenly get thrown back into reality by the deafeningly loud voice of your mother repeatedly saying "Thea. Wake. Up."

The last part isn't exactly enjoyable, actually it's down right awful. But the middle part is amazing. It feels so real while it lasts. Even if it's totally the opposite of realistic, it seems realistic at the time. I love that saying from Inception that goes, "Dreams seem real when we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we notice something was actually weird."

Well said, Cobb, well said.

But dreams also make me realize stuff when I wake up. My mind seems fogged up, yet completely clear at the same time. I'm dizzy, yet stable. Life is always a bit dimmer and slightly more queer. I usually realize how bland this world is, (As if I didn't already know that...) and that I'll probably die if I live the same life as millions of other people. The "white picket fence, 9-5 job" life style is more like a nightmare than a life to me.

I guess it make me driven to make my life more than I myself am capable of doing. It makes me strive to prove "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me."

Ever since I was a wee girl of some small age, I've always done 3 things:

1. Created stories. Any kind of stories. I hated writing at the time, so my friends and I would put together stories (like so many other little girls) and we'd act them out. And as I've grown up I've never stopped creating scenarios and characters. Of course my ways of doing it have matured and gone through stages. I've gone from plays, to film, to books. But what I do and my mind set towards it has never changed.

2. Sing/perform. I ALWAYS loved singing and performing. I still remember the first time my daddy let me get my grubby little 5-year-old-hands on his guitar. I, of course, had no idea how to even begin to go about playing the darn thing (I wasn't a very smart child... Never have been) So I looped the guitar strap around my neck (I remember it being huge compared to my tiny self) and aimlessly strummed away. I didn't care if it sounded like someone was strangling our cat in the back yard, I loved just simply holding the thing. Needless to say, the song I wrote never made it onto the top 10 on iTunes. But that's ok.

3. Travel. Traveling has always been a yearly thing for my family. I thought it so magical that we could get into a plane or car and travel for a few hours, then end up in a completely different place than where we were. With different people, paces, accents, views... I just loved it.

All that said, I have/always had an impeccably dreamy state of mind. And it never left me. Reality? Pshhh! Who needs it? But lately as I've started to really grow up and explore the world, be consumed by school, and have emotional tax put on me, that mind set has started fading. The world has gotten to me and the inspiration to write, do music, and imagine the world differently has slowly started decreasing. Making me not believe I'm capable of being a writer, a musician, or anything else God has given me a love for. Making me think that maybe I will end up living the life I dread.

But that's where dreams and the inspiration of them comes in. That "tasting freedom then being thrown back into reality" thing rekindles the dreamy, child eyes I've always had and will always have for years to come. God is going to use it, and that I'm sure of. So I'm going to strive to not let the world seep through my cracks and get to me.

Think about it.

Think about it.

July Vibes

2010-07-19T15:03:00.000-07:00

   Before I get to my extremely short post (I promise... It shall be short) let me say this... Happy July! The sun is shining, the air is humid, and my curly hair is positively running wild! Oh happy days.

   Today I'm going to talk just a LITTLE bit about one of the main things I concentrate on while writing- The vibe. I'm sure all of you have heard me say stuff about a vibe to one of my books and how this book has this vibe, and that book has that vibe, and yada yada yada. But the truth is that no matter how much I over exaggerate something, the vibe I give my book is ridiculously important. I'm not a professional but I do know one thing: It creates the book.

   My books alway start with two things.

1. An idea. It could be something as small as a lyric, a word, a landscape, an item... Anything. For example, Sweet Melodies (a side project book. Which is really fun to write, BTW.) was inspired by the maze behind the Governors Palace in Williamsburg. Inspiration can come from anywhere and everywhere.

2. The vibe the idea gives off. Example, to me the maze seemed to have a sad feeling. Like it had seen and heard things in the past too astonishing to keep quiet, and too heart breaking to tell. Then as I traveled deeper into the maze it seemed to get darker. My mind was going crazy by now. The bushes were thick, the sunshine broke threw the cracks causing rays of light across the dirt path... It was mystical. When I reached the middle of the maze there was a little slab of bricks, making a small solid, square, blank area. And that's when I pictured this girl, this slim, tall, black haired, scene looking girl sitting in a corner of the square, on the ground, with her head down, playing a guitar. And not just any guitar. A black electric acoustic guitar with cream trim. And then I realized that she wasn't happy or content or satisfied. She was frustrated and confused and sad... And crying. And that's what I played off of. I immediately took pictures and though. Not only though, meditated. And then a book was born. Theirs just something about a maze. It's so mysterious.

   You should notice one thing about this whole scenario. And that is all these things happened off of one thing, a vibe. A FEELING. I could have just pictured the maze as a happy, romantic, sunny place and picture some lovely lovebirds in the center instead. But no, I ran with what the maze said to me and listened to every word it uttered. Maybe I'm just a depressed person.

And so ends this little peak into the mind of Thea.

A Piece Of Music Is Worth A Thousand Words... Literally

2010-06-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

When you listen to a piece of music what do you see? A story, a vibe, or even a random person? Everybody sees something different with different pieces of music. I want to know what you see. On the video below is a piano song. Just piano. No words or anything. Take the vibe, listen to it, and create. Taste it, move it around, change it, rearrange it... Take the first thing you see in your minds eye and explore it. Take yourself out of the fact-and-figures thinking which society calls being smart/wise, and put yourself in the place you have created. Turn the volume up, and feel it. Just try it, and tell me what you come up with in one way or another!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQTWbS2SlVY

La la la la la, Summers In The Air.

2010-06-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

   It's that time of year again. Georgia summer has stretched it's arms over the state and engulfed us in a loving hug of heat and humidity. Normally, we would get sunny days with pools and sunscreen. But it seems as though since April didn't bring us showers, late May/June has brought it upon themselves to supply the much-not-needed showers. (I'm pretty sure we got all the rain we needed with the flood earlier this year...) It may be a perky, sunny day now but I'm predicting rain later on. (We've been getting rain every day. And clouds in the distance are not very reassuring of a wonderful day.) Don't get me wrong, I love the rain! I just also love the sun and what it does for us. (Team Vitamin D!)

   My summer officially started a couple days ago with the final curtain on the last Grande Finale of the year. My bones ached, my head hurt, and the callas on my foot had ripped off and started bleeding... I love pointe... But anyway, THAT ASIDE, it was a good show. Tarantella went well, lyrical dances were OK, Variations went well (I had just put origell on my toe so I couldn't feel it anymore at this point...) , Hello Seattle Remix was pretty awesome, and Grande Finale was pretty good. But I'm not going to lie about the flood of relief which cast it's self over me when the curtains shut. The stage may be my home but sometimes you need to get out of your house and take a stroll. It was definitely time for a nice LONG stroll for me. Since Sunday I've been sleeping in till 11:30 and not getting dressed in real clothes until I have to. (Which is a huge deal for me.) Summer dance classes start next week. I really haven't known what to do with myself this week. It's so weird not having dance classes to look forward to later on in the day.

   One of the many things I did to kick off my summer was go to Target. Yep, that's right, I went to Target on June 1st and got Alice In Wonderland. Only the greatest movie ever. Johnny Depp and Tim Burton are genius. Right after purchasing this magnificent piece of merchandise, I was admiring it while riding home. And that is when I made the most fantastic discovery:

PG: Parental Guidance Suggested: For Fantasy Action/Violence Involving Scary Impages And Situations, And For A Smoking Caterpillar.

You tell me how awesome that is. I started laughing ridiculously hard right there on the spot. But this piece of awesomeness isn't the only amazing this I purchased at the glorious Target. Nay. I also now own Brisingr. I refused to rent it from the library...

Speaking of books!!

I Just finished reading a great book. Quite ingeniously written. Goes by the name Piratica. Odd tittle, I know. Just check it out.

Well, there is so much more I would love to tell you, my lovely readers. But I must eat lunch.

The Mystery Of The Disappearing Truths...

2010-04-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

No doubt my amazing tittle has already drawn you in and unleashed your little braincells to run the track of curiosity.

Probably not...

But one thing it probably has done is give you a hint on what this particular post (and many to come...) are about. Through out the next couple weeks I'm going to post a couple of post about missing truths. Wether moral or spiritual, it may differ. But one things sure, there will be stories behind all of them. So, may we begin?

I'm going to start off with something cliché. Perhaps the MOST cliche I could have picked, but true nonetheless.

I have recently discovered an author which has an interesting story. She definitely not a new author, she actually a veteran in the novel business. Meg Cabbot.

Meg Cabbot has been writing all her life and has come out with tuns of novels, including the Princess Diaries series. She once even wrote a novel in 10 days right after 9/11 (which she and her husband witnessed [like so many other authors] from her office) and now writes on a laptop in her bed as apposed to a desktop in an office. Many other authors simply stopped writing after witnessing it. But one of the most amazing things about her and the thing I most admire IS her husband and her. They've been married for quite some time. He supports her, she supports him. How much more perfect can you get? Want to know something even more amazing? She didn't even have a formal wedding. Her husband and her got married in Italy on an elopement of such. I say "Of such" because they were engaged already (which the parents new about) and they told their parents right after the wedding. She didn't even have a dress. And yet they are still married and she is still happy and doesn't even care there was no grand gathering other than all the small towns people.

Now, compare THAT with the expectations of teen girls now. Everyone wants to live a fairytale. Even me... I have too romantic and flowy of a mind set... EHEM! But I think the world has totally missed the point of a marriage. Now, I know NOTHING of marriage, so I'm not going to talk specifically on that. But I do know quite a bit on the reasons and what NOT to expect in one and what not to expect in a relationship, period.

So I come to the disappearing truth of post #1-

The person you end up with should be your best friend, not the hottest guy you've met. Don't daydream about marrying/dating the guy whom gives you the biggest diamond ring. Daydream about marrying/dating the guy with the biggest heart. And it doesn't matter if you get that fancy wedding in the future or not. That's not the point of a wedding or marrying someone at all.

Glad we had this talk. :)

S.S.S... Super Scary Sunday.

2010-04-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

You know, I always forget why I hate auditions so much until I actually sigh up for one. Unless you've been to one, you don't know the feeling. Some people aren't scared of them, though. Some people are just totally chill and can balance and do everything they can normally do in class during said audition. Then some people, such as myself, dread even the though of dancing in from of a bunch of instructors whom have the most tariffing poker faces... No joke.

Every year I wait for Company auditions, and every year I freak out. It's worse than the first performance in a show. Which I freak out before. I might be a performer, but I get terrible stage fright. I run around the house getting ready with this blank look on my face that says nothing and fear all at the same time. I swear I'm three shades lighter right now. And even worse, my hair is refusing to go into a suitable bun. I'm making this blog to give me something else to do other than pace my room until it's time to go and face my destiny. Even Soundtrack music isn't calming me down. My nerves are in a jumble and it's becoming hard to breath. The only thing I can do it pray for clarity and a spirit of peace. Please pray for me also.

2010-03-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been around it a.... while. *Ehem* Life has been crazy with the Night Of Classical ballet coming up and the constant head aches I've been getting (turns out I might need glasses), I haven't felt much like sitting infront of a computer screne and typing. But today I decided I'd force myself to do so. and already i'm getting one of those foggy head aches. Great...

ANYWAY. Enough of my complaining. A quick update on life. i know I promised this blog would make sence, but that blog might have to wait.

Right now life is pretty much stressful in every sence of the word. But not in an unhappy/depressing way. It's just stressful. But I'm happy to say that I've gotten allot closer to God this week and have realized allot of spritiual things (Which would take too much explaining on here). I'm basically living off of tea, "This strawberry walked into a bar..." fuit bars, and these weird mint things my mom has sitting around. Sounds like I'm going to make a pretty great writer someday... Typical.

My book is going... Well I guess. Isabel is depressed and confused, Aarron is in the brig, and Matthew is just being plain annoying. Hopefully the first conversation between Aarron and Isabel will clear some of my ideas up. Although I don't think Matthew will shut up for a while. Oh, how I long to kill him off.

Oh well. I guess the only thing to do is to sit back, think, wait, and drink my tea. *Takes sip... Nothing* Darn.

Well I guess I'll talk to you all later. Litterature is calling. Grrr.

With pleanty of love and blessings,

Thea. <3

Dear Sun, I Am Cold

2010-02-07T15:17:00.000-08:00

First, I'm going to start with a question, IS ANYONE AS COLD AS I AM! BRRRR! I can't stand the cold. It's terrable. I mean, we're in the south! I thought one of the purks of being in a southern state was that it wasn't cold? That just shows what I know about the south. At the moment I'd rather be in MN right now. At least there their's snow. Lots of snow. And I'm not talking 3 inches like would be considered allot here. I'm talking feet. I'm talking about the type of snow that you can't successfully walk through. The kind you have to imediatly go outside and shovel a walkway to your driveway then shovel your driveway. (P.S. For rules and a realistic example about shoveling MN snow, go to http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=201526773&page=4 [it's the 3rd blog down and quite hillarious. I've had to go through it before]) The kind that leaves HUGE snow drifts about the size of a house! Yes, I know, hard to believe. Well, you better believe it, cause I'm not lying. Anyway, point is, it needs to warm up and quick.

Another thing I'm pretty much hating about this wether is that it's always raining. No sun, no sun, no sun. It's like the wether has so cleaverly planned it out so that it's raining on the weekends! Not ok. Rain clouds, how I dread you. One of the worst things about the rain is that it's overcast. Which means it's covering up the sun, right? Well, the sun gives us vitamins. If the sun can't get to us, we don't get those vitamins which make us joyful and want to go outside and take on the world. That's one of the reasons Minesotans are always depressed from October to June, they don't get sun. Thus, because of the lack of joyous sun, we're all blah. and I don't know about you, but I don't like blah. Blah and I don't get along, blah gives me head aches.

So I've decided to write our beloved sun a letter.

Perhaps if it works, the sun will grace us with its presents once again.

Dear sun,

I am writing to voice my concern about you rarely showing up in the state you love. Why is it you've suddenly gone? I asure you you've been missed. Even now I know there must be some helpless person on Facebook statusing about the wether and how you have left us in the clouds care. We're all quite worried and I'm afraid the wether has not been treating us well. I know head aches and lack of excercise have increased since you've left. Does this not concern you? I miss you oh so terably and would love it if you'd maybe visite one of these near days as you're passig by and stay awhile. Something I'm sure you would enjoy as well. I find myself day dreaming about you while watching the day slowly go by; For 'm sure the days go by faster when you're here. Is it that you don't like February? Or that you don't get along with Valentines day? Why you always leave this time of year always puzzles me. But I hope you're having a good time warming the Caribbean beachs.
I will conclude with my hope of you coming here. I so long to be warm and take a comforting walk to the park.

Your cold author, Thea

"You're my thoughts, your not suppose to fly! Come down!"

2010-02-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

Picture this, your walking down a woody path, through a lush, green forest and suddenly, it starts narrowing. And you think, "Oh dang." Because, of caurse this happens offten and you know what's coming next.
The path disapears completely.
Yes, that's how I feel right now. (And no, this is not going to be a real deep blog.)
As a matter of fact, this blog is more for me to complain to whoever (if anybody actually does) read this. Because I'm getting lost. Lost in my writing. What can I say? I've hit a brick wall. Most writers have 1 of 2 problems. (I don't think it's possible to have both...) They either 1. Have way too many idea that keep coming and fitting together perfectly. (Which makes their books become epic novels like War And Peace. I think Christopher Paolini had that problem...) or 2. They have a very basic idea of what they want to write but know they need more. I, for one, have problem number 2. It's horrible! I'd rather have problem number 1. At least then I could sort through it all and have an amazing plot. I have an amazing plot, but I need MORE amazing plot other than just the basic love twist and what is basically going to happen. I need more than one epic battle. I need a dramatic twist that makes people stop... Reread the paragraph... And repeat. Something that makes your heart quicken and you're forced to put the book down and just think. I could be the only one that does that when I'm shocked, but still, there's a first for everything.

I lied in the first paragraph. My thoughts haven't stopped. They're just kinda floating above me and I need a way to piece them together. My mind is so unorganized...

I think you all got the idea I was just blogging to complain. And thank you if you've made it this far... Sorry about the unorganization of my blogging at the moment. I never have my thoughts pieced together when I blog until after I'm finished.

Which is why I'm blogging at this very moment! Hoping for willing ears to hear me plea my want of organized though, maybe my thoughts and/or ideas will become organized! Insperation of a type?

I get insperation/ideas on a whim. Allot of times in the car, sometimes while in the book store (of all places). OH!, I got one in the dentist today! Then I forgot it... I forget allot of my ideas actually. I'm quite unorganized when it comes to my thoughts. (I totally just proved myself. I think that's the third time I anounced I was unorganized in my mind) Does this mean I should cary around a note pad? Already do, don't use it. Although I sometimes write on my hand... My mother gets onto me for it... But that's beside the point! I don't even have a point. I'm just slapping random words down that seem to pop into my head at the time.

Actually, the point of this blog was to 1. Complain (which I have thurally done). And 2. Explain my book so far to it's adoring public. Even though it doesn't have one yet. But that's only a matter of time.

So, here it is. The rough draft so far.

A girl named Isabel awakes from a dream of her fathers tragic death. Dreams that had been hauting her ever since the acident. But she only had one thing she could do. go on with her life and captain her fathers ship as he so elaberatly requested in his will. Mean while, the infumous Samual "Bright Eyes" Gouge is planning Isabel's assasination, but not before she leads him to the location of the ________ (I don't know what it is yet) that her father refused to give away. Knowing she knows who killed her father, Gouge apoints a young man of the age of 18 name Aaron to the task of sneaking on board the Red Skull as part of the crew and giving her just enough info to lead her in the general direction of the _____. Along the way, Aaron befriends Isabel and goes against his deal with Gouge. Bad idea. The rath of Gouge is on the whole crew now. And Spain. And england. And pretty much Isabel is everyones only hope. (You know, no pressure or anything...)

That was not the whole plot for I didn't want to give it all away.

Maybe I should just let the book write itself. It's all going to change anyway. That little voice in the back of my head usually rebels against the plan. And it's not like I'm going to get any ideas just sitting here all gittery from the box of chocolate I just ate and wearing down the spot in from of my head-board.

Ahhhhh. That place infront of my head-board. The thinking spot. The wonderful, wonderful thinking spot. But I'll talk more of that in a more serious blog.

I'm afraid dinner is calling and I'm getting a head ache from the computer screne. So, alas, it's time to say goodbye and goodnight. I love you all. And remember to fully support each other in every rediculous, crazy dream you have. As I do you. :)

Many blessings, Thea. <3

There was complete silance between them as the two reflective sailors watched the horrizen. Dark, dreary storm clouds made a curtain which covered most of the last pomegranite colored light of that day, but not all. A single strip of pomagranite light could still be seen.

"The suns last shout of goodbye drowned out by the battle cry of the storm." A sigh passed Isabel's lips. "Making it no more than a wisper."

"But the sun will be back," Matt replied. "And out shine the storm."

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

Happy 2010 all! I'm happy to say that these are the first words written on my blog in the year twenty-ten. This is a big deal to me. Don't ask me why, things like that just are. Haha. So anyway, hope you all enjoyed the poem I spent an hour typing out of an old book with my brother sitting on the couch talking to his games, my mom chasing Maggie, my brother in law thinking he's gonna get killed by my dad for bringing home a new dog the week before, and my dad and sister Sarah discussing movies that only they would see. All the while my sister Allie was absent from the anual Doss New Years Extravaganza (that was not spelled right...) and probably on her face before the Lord in.... I forgot what state! Anyway, go sis! (P.S. You missed country fried stake two nights before... :p)

Point is, new years is incredibly loud around here, as you might have guessed. But this year God put something on my heart last night. And I feel that I should share.

Last night while reading statuses on Facebook I realized that every teenager, child, preteen, and adult looks forward to the moment the year jumps up one. And, being raised in the family I was, I started thinking about why everyone (including myself) looks forward to a simple number changing. I mean I understood why we were all excited to get out of 2009, but I wondered WHY everyone got all in a bundle for the next year and vowed for it to be diffferant, then the next year they do the same. My point is, I wondered why it was like a process. I'M NOT MAKING ANY SENCE HERE! Are you understanding... Am I making any sence?? No.... You'll understand by the end of this blog... Hopefully.

But I think we all have differant reasons for the year not being the way we'd hoped, and statused (Is that even a word?) about. MY reasons are always either 1. I make a lousy promise to God and to myself or 2. I just don't do anything to make the new year better! And I think that allot of us have those two problems with the new year. Some peoples might be differant, but I know allot of people that have the same problems as myself.

So I say we (or atleast myself) do something about it! Instead of just assuming that the year is going to be better because a number went one up, I'm gonna actually try to make it better. Are you with me?! Oh, how could you do that? Well I have a couple ideas that I'm going to do myself. Here's the chalange...

First, read your Bible more. Yes yes, I know you say you're going to do that every year. But this time, actually do it. Otherwise... You'll have a heck of a time trying to do the rest.

Second, fix that friendship that has just totally crashed and burned this last year. I know, it seems impossible! And you're probably like "But you don't know what they've done to me!". And you're right, I don't. But I know that God says to forgive each other over and over and OVER again. So do it! Don't be scared. If it takes all year to do it, then do it. And even if you wont and don't want to have the same relationship as before, it doesn't matter. Because it doesn't have to be as close as before. Just fix it. Nail it together, sand it down, and sit on it.

Third, befriend your parents. I warn you, don't skip this. In the future it'll save you allot of heartache, pain, missing out, and pretty much everything you think they cause. But the fact is that they don't cause any of it themselves. These past 3 weeks I've been working on this with my mom and it's absolutly paid off. I don't care what you think about your parents. You don't have to be buddy buddy if you don't want to. Just shape up your relationship so there's not tension in the room when your together.

I probably just lost allot of you with that last one... Sorry guys.

Forth, start at least trying to change your mind set. If your always negative (like me) then try to start thinking a little more on the bright side. But this will probably just fall into place as you read your Bible and spend time with God. So I wouldn't fret too much about it.

Fith, last thing to do. Do that one thing you've always wanted to do. Like ALWAYS wanted to do. Write a song, take up an instrument, write poetry, write a book. Of course, these are only a few thing that you could possibly do. I believe that theres something that every single one of us have hidden in their heart that we've locked up. Do that one thing that's hidden.

Once again, I'm doing all these things too. And if you feel like doing it with me, by all means, join me. :)

And that brings us to new years resolutions. Either you love them and they're virtue to you or you hate them. My opinion in that is that they usually don't go through too well. They never end up getting achived. I have had personal experiance with them. They don't work. However, I like goals... Am I making no sence again?? Sorry guys. So, I'm going to have a GOAL for the year. Ok ok, it's kinda like a resolution. My goal for this year (Which is also my fifth thing to do to make the year great.) is to finish my book and start trying to get it published. As you all know I had a run-in with a horrible problem and had to start rewriting the whole first plot of the first book. Talk about nail biting. So, my goal is to finish it. What is yours?

Anyways, that's all! I hope you at least think about the "things to do to make this next year better" thingy. Ha.

I love you all. Have a very happy new year, :)

Thea.

Introductional Poem To "Through The Looking Glass And What Alice Found There"

2009-12-31T20:35:00.000-08:00

NOTE: I typed this whole thing up from an incredibly old copy of "Alice through the looking glass" which has been around for YEARS and YEARS in our family (I love it so much), so, I also typed up the typos to be authentic.

Book appraising lesson- Typos make an old book worth more. Thus, the more typos you have, the more its worth.

Fairy-Tale By Lewis Carroll

Child of the pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I thou
And half a life asunder
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale.

I have not seen thy sunny face
Nor heard thy silver laughter;
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young life's hereafter-
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairy-tale

A tale begun in other days,
When summer suns were glowing-
A simple chime, that served to time
The rhythm of our rowing-
Whose echoes live in memory yet,
Though envious years would say "forgoten"

Come, hearken then, ere voices of dread,
With bitter tidings laden,
Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden!
We are but older children, dear,
Who fret to find our bedtime near

Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
The storm-wind's moody madness-
Within, the firelights rubby glow
And childhood's nest of gladness,
The magic words shall hold thee fast;
Thou shalt not heed the raving blast

And though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,
For "happy summer days' gone by,
And vanish'd summer glory-
It shall not touch, with breath of bale,
The pleasance of our fairy-tale.

Hello All!

2009-12-30T12:34:00.001-08:00

hey guys! First blog entry! Woot!... Ok I'm done. Anyway, this is my blog. Please do read it whenever you have the time. :)

Anyway, the reason I've made this whole blog thing is because well, I love to write. And whenever I have a random thought that i just really want mostly everyone know about, my statuses become incredibly long. Haha. So I figured this was the best way to get my litterary longings out in the open.

Ok, I half lied. That isn't the ONLY reason I made this blog. I also figured this was the best way to talk about, poll about, and post teasers for my books. Pretty cool, huh? ;)

So stay tuned and don't be afraid to comment! Everything helps.

Hope you like this, Thea <3